Is anyone ever really free of judgement?
Today, I arrived home after a long and trying day and turned on the news. I was greeted with a report on violence and hatred towards the gay community.
And let’s be really transparent here:
Violence and hatred is fear.
I have been out since I was in my very early twenties. I am now 47 years old and still witnessing behaviour that threatens not just the LGBT but any minority.
From an early age I would question any intolerance towards parts of society that wasn’t considered mainstream.
I would question everything, which looking back, contributed much toward my journey of living from the heart – true to who I am – despite the danger; literal danger.
In my younger days, I would have stones thrown at me and abuse yelled.
“F@*%^#g lesbian! You should be F@*%^#g shot!”
I’ve had men proclaiming that all I needed was a good………..you know what.
I have been mistaken for male…..how I really still don’t know…as it is very apparent that I am female.
I would have extreme religious groups inform me that Jesus loves the sinners, the alcoholics, the drug addicts – oh and the gays and that we could be “saved, but I was going to hell”.
Saved from what? My truth?
I have been beaten for standing up for who I am. I have been ostracized, ridiculed, ignored, rejected, and hated. And do you know what? I still have love in my heart for every single person who has attempted to inflict their hatred upon me.
Because I understand what intolerance is.
I understand where it lives and why.
I understand that if I am intolerant towards those who judge me, that I am being intolerant towards them. And I let go of that a long time ago.
It does no good – only more harm, more anger, more discourse and more loss of love.
I understand there are parts of me that some may find difficult and uneasy, and I understand the parts of me that are still developing.
And one of these is judgement.
We all do: We all knee jerk in situations that we find difficult and uncomfortable.
The differentiator is our level of consciousness or unconsciousness, and our willingness and ability to question that discomfort.
I have friends who are Catholic who have the consciousness to be able to choose the elements of their religion that speaks to their hearts; one that includes the entirety of our wonderful and diverse planet – and that includes me.
I have friends who love me, even though their community would frown upon and reject who I am.
Being gay is not a life style. I would go as far as to say – it’s not even a choice.
Some people are more fluid in their choices, like my ex, however it me to let her go in order for her to live her truth.
And I harbour no judgement toward her - only love.
So, I write this tonight with love. I may lose potential clients, I may lose peoples good opinions or I may gain a whole lot more.
My passion is communication. My passion is breaking patterns. My passion is living from the heart.
It takes courage to do this, no matter where you live in society, no matter where you are in the world and no matter what your life looks like right now.
My message to you is:
Keep your heart open.
When you feel judgement, hatred or discomfort – question it!
Look at it from every dark crevice, because in those dark corners you will find the truth. That’s where the light is – that’s where your heart is.
Find the courage to extend love and compassion toward those who aren’t yet living in awareness. They haven’t been given the tools yet. They are not conscious.
And remember – It’s okay to disagree. That’s what makes us diverse. That’s what makes this planet so colourful and rich.
You can choose your life and let others choose theirs.
We all have a place, we all have value and we are all here to learn, grow and love – whatever love is for you.
I send you my love and my abundant heart – wherever you are.