We all have an Evil Twin that sits on our shoulders who whispers not so sweet nothings in our ears and fills our heads and hearts with reasons not to do something, say something or be who and what we truly want to be.
How many times have you not done something, worn something or allowed yourself to feel joy because of that Evil Twin? I can’t tell you how many times I have let those not so sweet nothings get in my way and talk me out of whatever it was I had planned, whether it came down to how I felt I looked, deciding what to wear, where I was going and who I was meeting.
The act of not participating and exposing ourselves to experiences, connection and joy can become a habit. This habit, born of stressors that awaken the Evil Twin is all to do with feeling vulnerable and stepping beyond that imaginary line of a comfort zone that in fact has no base in reality. So why do we listen to it and how do we silence those whispers that run the risk of evolving into screams?
The first step is to understand why our Evil Twin shows up in the first place. Why is it there? What purpose does it serve? The fact is, believe it or not, our Evil Twin is a protection mechanism and it’s normal to have one. It’s there because it wants to shield us from a whole a-ray of risky emotions such as hurt, criticism, failure, rejection or disappointment, and our Evil Twin doesn’t like to feel vulnerable and doesn’t like emotional discomfort. It thinks it’s keeping us safe when in fact it is keeping us from joy, courage and connection. Your Evil Twin is not your voice. You have your own voice and it wants to be heard.
For many of us this is steeped in issues with Body Image which is directly linked to confidence and self-esteem. Think of all the events that can be a stressor relating to Body Image that brings out your Evil Twin. Make a list and see how long it is, then ask yourself how many times you have listened to those not so sweet nothings where it has stopped you from doing or feeling something, and then think about the times it whispered but you didn’t let it stop you. Now here’s the key!
The times you can think of where you didn’t let it stop you, how did you silence or ignore your Evil Twin? What was the difference then and how can you use this as a resource moving forward in order to enable yourself to live the life you deserve? Really take notice of what that difference was so that you can call on this skill that already lies within you to go, do, be, say, wear and feel what you want. Pay attention to the words that you use, because awareness of this communication here is a key point. Often it can be unconscious communication that creates these habits and we continue the cycle of avoidance because of this. We all know how hard it can be to break a habit or a pattern of behaviour. Don’t let your Evil Twin define you or dictate what you do.
Remember, this is a process and may not change overnight. The important message here is to make a start and that start will gather momentum.
If you would like to explore this more, contact me and we can make that start happen.
Tel: 07835 282442